Self Doubt

Self Doubt

        ~ journal entry from 2019

What about poetry

Where is that going with me?

I can’t see it

Takes so much energy

Feeling defeated, depleted

deleted

Up and down

Big day ahead

Just before daylight

Writing in bed

Feeling grouchy and mean

Loss of interest in everything

Cloudy night

No stars tonight

Clutching my healing 

Tourmaline*

*Tourmaline is a powerful spiritual stone celebrated for grounding, protection, and energy balancing. It acts as a shield against negativity, clears energy blockages, and aligns the chakras, making it popular for emotional healing and fostering compassion. It also enhances creativity.

Prompt: “And now, here’s our prompt for the day — totally optional, as usual. The Roman poet Catullus wrote a famous two-line poem:

Odi et amo: quare id faciam fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

Here’s an English translation.

                I hate and I love. Why do I do this, you ask?
                I don’t know, but I feel it happening and am tortured.

I thought about this poem the other day when I read a social media post collecting sentences from Charles Darwin’s letters, including:

                “Oh my God how do I hate species & varieties.”

                “I am very tired, very stomachy & hate nearly the whole world.”

                “I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody & everything.”

                “I hate myself, I hate clover, and I hate bees.”

                “I am languid & bedeviled & hate writing & hate everybody.”

I must confess, the idea of being so grumpy that you have come to hate clover and bees is highly amusing to me. Today, your challenge is to take a page from Catullus and Darwin, and write a poem in which you talk about disliking something – particularly something utterly innocuous, like clover. Be over the top! Be a bit silly and overdramatic.”